What Do You Mean I Can’t Have a Baby?
I’m 40 years young, God fearing, educated, and a hard worker. I’ve tried to live the best life possible, abiding by the Word of God. I’m definitely not perfect, but I try my hardest to exemplify the character of Christ (at least until you run into me on the spades table).
I walk into my hematologist’s office. He looks at my blood work and says, “There is no hope for you.” I look at him and smile. “You have a problem that’s tied to your very nature and ability to bring life into this world. We need to remove your uterus as soon as possible. We cannot control your bleeding as long as your uterus is intact. The menorrhagia is winning this battle.” The hematologist suggest that I take the necessary steps to become pregnant and have a child within the next year. I begin to think to myself: How is this going to happen? I’m not even married yet! I can do IVF, but how will that look to the church? An unmarried, pregnant youth pastor. This can’t be good. No one will care about how I started the process, only that I’m in the process!
I felt like I was being punished for all the mistakes I had ever made in life. That my bad choices coupled with the abuse I had experienced took away my ability to bring children into this world.
I walked to my car and started thinking about how God could get the glory in all this mess. I decided to track the journey and share it with the world. (Check that video out below.)
I realized something as I sat in my car recording my testimony video ….my character doesn’t qualify me for some kind of special miracle. My, mostly, righteous living wasn’t a down payment on whatever I wanted to happen in my life. There’s nothing I can do to earn God’s grace. It’s a FREE gift. What I can do is share my story and encourage someone else that might be facing something similar. I’m hoping God permits this miracle for me so that you can see His glory. But even if it doesn’t go my way or your way….His way is THE way and it will work together for our good (Romans 8:28)
Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I know there are many women who are in similar situations that may feel hopeless. They just need to hear someone who can relate. You did just that.
I am super excited to see how this plays out and how God works it all out.